PURNAMIDAM - mindlessly mindful

water color painting

the roster pencil doodles colored in photoshop

some dreamy doodles one with color this time. medium: pencil, color pencils copy on the colored doodle(in case its not visible): if wings had eyes of their own, they would probably fly to nowhere

keep me anywhere i don't belong, give a pencil and a paper and this is what will happen

Am no God, don't expect me to be perfect. yes i make mistakes and regret them. and i DO say sorry too, provided you wanna hear it. if not i just throw a sorry in the universe and hope it reaches you in your sound health. i regret my mistakes enough to not repeat them but not enough to beat myself about it to end all fun or to end all life in me.  unapologetic as it may seem, practical is what i think about it. so yes i have hurt many people, shoved off the ones who showered me with their love, doubted people who genuinely have been nice to me. why is it wrong i ask?  let me repeat 'i am NO god'! i cant forecast fate! i have to weigh both sides of a coin, i have to take my own time to come around. so how is it my fault that you didn't have patience enough to stick around by the time i felt safe. how is it my fault if your friendship/ love/ trust/ blah wasn't strong enough to wait. you think i am a cold person? i am a loner? so be it....

Lily got off her bed in a full stretch. Outside the window the snow shone brilliantly, almost blinding her. She went to the window and closely peered at that lone apple tree in her backyard. The tree had reduced to nothing, but a few broken branches and the trunk.  The memory seemed so vivid as though just yesterday her father had hung her on his shoulders and dug a hole to plant it.  A fleeting sense of sadness passed through her. She quickly went to her desk and pulled out a paper n started scribbling on it. “When summer comes….. Go fishing Shopping Gary’s rollercoaster yard The city zoo Ice cream Skating Go trekking in the woods Camp fire in the backyard Pluck apples off the tree and bake apple tarts” Just as she was thinking of more things, mom called for her “Lily! Honey its time to get up. You don’t wanna miss your bus today or you’ll have to walk in the snow.” She heard her mom climbing up the stairs and quickly hid the paper under the b...

Once again am stuck in a place where I feel like moving backwards. I think it is good. When you’re  not able to move ahead its okay, but nothing is worst than not moving at all. Have you ever closely observed a long jump athlete in Olympics? They go back before the jump. The farther back they go the longer is the jump. Yeah, I know nothing new in the thought, but it’s definitely not a lame excuse to cover up my backward progress. let me tell you one thing. This might be a known concept but think about this; after the athlete goes back before the jump, he runs in full speed up till he reaches the line. Now that is what decides your leap. If you run slowly there is no way you’re going to make it. If you run too fast without knowing when to leap you might just skip the line and be disqualified. The run defines your destiny. So as much as am not scared of moving backwards, I am of screwing up my run. There are times when am scared of myself. I am not just talking about my mornin...