love you unconditionally

Am no God, don't expect me to be perfect. yes i make mistakes and regret them. and i DO say sorry too, provided you wanna hear it. if not i just throw a sorry in the universe and hope it reaches you in your sound health. i regret my mistakes enough to not repeat them but not enough to beat myself about it to end all fun or to end all life in me.
 unapologetic as it may seem, practical is what i think about it. so yes i have hurt many people, shoved off the ones who showered me with their love, doubted people who genuinely have been nice to me. why is it wrong i ask?  let me repeat 'i am NO god'! i cant forecast fate! i have to weigh both sides of a coin, i have to take my own time to come around. so how is it my fault that you didn't have patience enough to stick around by the time i felt safe. how is it my fault if your friendship/ love/ trust/ blah wasn't strong enough to wait.
you think i am a cold person? i am a loner? so be it. why should i even bother to explain love to someone who cant even speak the basic language of love- 'eye talking' !  or whatever shit that it is called, 'the little things you do' and 'the once in a while caring'.
i wont say i love you. really i wont! if love is not something you can see but feel, then why does it have to be something you cant feel unless i say it.
i have never said 'i love you' to my MOM or DAD in my entire life, sister is a different case, you see cant steal her stuff without that line. yup  that's the only use of these 3 words for me. of-course in this case it also doesn't mean that i don't love her just cause i say 'i love you' but at the moment i don't mean it either.
i hate soft toys, i think its a huge waste of money and ads to landfills, i hate people who profess PDA, i hate people who cant stop blabbering how important it is to express love 24/7. please define it when you say 'express'. expression is everyone's birth right and i don't deny that. but isn't the STYLE of expression something very personal? so let ME define how i want to express my love to MY loved ones.
my parents didn't kick me out off the house for not saying 'i love you' 10 times a day, they just know it. i fight with my parents and (true)friends almost every single day, but i ain't cutting them off for not EXPRESSING their love, i just know it.
i completely agree with 'don't take the people who love you for granted, let them know you love them' but let ME decide how i go about doing it, and YOU!, if you think i need to work hard on letting you realize how much i cherish you being a part of my life! then i guess you are right i don't love you enough, cause the ones i really do love are sure to hell smiling at this post. :) love u guys!!!!

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