Have you ever got rejected for dreaming big?

When you are girl in your late twenties born to a set of middle class Indian parents, the only "important discussions" that happen for the lavish 4 -5 hours that you are awake at home is "marriage". In your early twenties, finding a match is like some Olympic championship for your parents, there is a routine to their efforts, rhythm to their practice. But by late twenties even your parents hope you had a boyfriend. "Why can’t you make our work easy" they say, especially for someone like me whose, neither job profile nor personal profile can be defined by understandable standards of the majority. I quit my job as a copywriter to become a writer, a farmer, a doodler, a brand ambassador of sustainable naturalist lifestyle. I haven’t made good money for long but I have big plans (as always). I can and have lived 5star and roughed it out with same ease. I can be ambitious and lazy with same diligence. I want to live the rest of my life in my private farm (read forest) yet close to a city (that's not imperative though).so that friends can visit often. 

And guess what I am not being unreal! I can so confidently vouch on my sanity in duality because I am not the first to do it. Hundreds of people I hear of every day quitting their jobs to follow their passion, changing their worlds with a bit more compassion, living or moving towards a healthy life for a healthy planet. I agree this may not appeal to majority of people (who spent lakhs of money to learn and then earn). To you I’d say "you may have a choice to be ignorant, but you do not have the time."

 

Last week I got rejected in an arrange marriage proposal, and the reason given was "her dreams are too big". Sigh. I wonder if such is ever said about a boy. And if it is, sigh! again. I don’t want to get into how patriarchy cant 'handle women who dream big'(later on that). the truth is society can’t handle individuals who dream big. does the fear of failure of a collective have to be everyone's ultimate truth?  and the worst part is it gets politely coated as 'may be the boy misunderstood your words' , I get told to clear that misunderstanding. I get advised to not 'blurt' out your dreams in the initial stage. I get advised and reminded of the word "compromise". 

 

I say NO. No my dear boy, there ain’t no misunderstanding. You understood me absolutely right and now I understand you and all those who left absolutely right. You haven’t the courage. I don’t blame you. I didn’t too. But what do I do now? Do I give up the crushing pain I went through to accept myself? Do I give up the fight I fought to tell people exactly who I am? I sacrificed the ones once so dear in order to accept my truth; shall I throw that sacrifice in garbage so that I can compromise for you?  It takes courage my boy, to be exactly who you are, to own your dreams and not be embarrassed of them. It takes courage my boy to be with someone who can dream.  

  

 No dream is big or small, a dream is just a dream. What can however be quantified is your insecurity. The more your insecurity the farther away you are from your dream and lesser the insecurity the closer you come to your dream. So remember no dream is big or small what matters is 'are you working towards it?'