If I Were A Parent and You Were My Guest

Every parent needs to put this notice outside their door.

Don’t ask my child what do they want to be when they grow up.

Who said they can only be one thing?

Don’t tell them experiencing things is less important than achieving things.

Ask them what new they learned, not just in school but even otherwise.

 

Don't ask them what is their favourite subject.

Ask them what they enjoy doing.

Don't say things like 'you are too small for this' or 'you are too old for that.'

Don't start conversations with ‘you can't, you won't, you shouldn't.’

Ask them why they want to do what they want to do, instead.

 

Don't tell them you are very pretty.

Tell them exactly what about them you find beautiful, instead.

Don’t forget to mention it’s your individual opinion

and not everyone may agree.

 

Don't keep smiling at them,

like a retard or psycho-killer for longer than 5 secs.

You can stare blankly at them,

smile, laugh, frown, make funny faces even cry if you must.

But if you are going to hold an eye contact longer than 5 secs,

let it not be a fake smile.

 

Don't you dare! yell, shout or howl at them,

unless you were mimicking wolves, birds, witches or shouting with joy.

If you do shout on others or in general while they witness,

let them also know why, let them know its okay to feel anger.

 

If they shout or throw tantrums,

don’t shout back, but also don’t walk away, nor entertain. Just be calm.

Compassion and frustration they understand,

hatred they don’t, abandonment they needn’t.  

 

Don't ask them to sing and dance for your entertainment,

if they choose to do it, just watch.

When they do show you something,

don't tell them how they can do better.

Show them instead when it’s your turn, the stage is all yours.

 

Don't ask them ‘who do they like more, mom or dad.’

Ask them instead who is their fav person, both human or non-human is ok;

Don’t forget to ask them why.

Don't ask them who is their best friend at school, they may not even go to school.

Ask them which people do they feel safe and loved with and why, instead.

Don't ask them what is their favourite pet,

Ask them when was the last time they played with, feed or loved any living creature or went in to a forest.

Ask them if they enjoyed.

 

Don't ask them what is their favourite food,

unless you plan to cook for them. 

Don't give them gifts without a story, 

without a sentiment or without any use.

 

If you see them crying don't ask them to stop,

ask them if they need any help, instead.

Don't help if you don’t know how.

Don’t help if they don’t need you to.

Don’t help if it is wrong

Don’t make any promise to help if you can’t.

And while they tell you why they are crying please just listen.

Don’t tell them to be strong.

Don’t tell them they are wrong.

There is enough time for that to be told,

But while they cry, it is certainly not.

 

If you find anything written above rude,

please do not entre my home.

Because I may not be able to control what happens outside this door

nor would I want to, or stop my children from exploring it.

But on this side of the door, it’s a sweet haven they return to.