Madness in loops



It’s been a real long time since I have poured out my brains. Just sputter everything in every direction. The jar is so full it’s about to spill and the sink is too far away. I don’t think I can make it till the sink before I ruin the expensive floor-carpet. Damn it! I spilled.  Oh it’s been a long night ...or day...I don’t know. It seems all just the same.
Have I been sleeping or was I too awake? I remember my dreams and forget my days.  Talking, moving eating, writing I don’t know what. Thinking? What is that? I can’t think! I don’t know what it means.
I want to be alone, for real. Why are you crowding in on me? Just leave me alone.
I consume too much oxygen I should be shunned but I don’t remember the last time I breathed. I am in pain, but so is everyone else. On the bus, in the train, on the roads...faces, so sad! So dull! It’s hard to believe a life behind them. It’s hard to believe I am one of them. Save me please! Wait!  Who am I talking to? Is there anyone listening? Why is this room so empty? Where are all those people? I remember what they look like I just forgot their names. What’s mine? What’s my name? Did I ever have a name?
Ohh this is madness!! I need to sleep. But didn’t I just wake up?  Oh yes I did. I remember my day. Flying on an office chair....all those people smiling as they passed. Why were they smiling? Was I crying? Were they laughing...at me??
I am scared I don’t know of what! And that’s scary again...is it?
Am not hungry anymore I just wanna chew, a lot. I look up every time I walk under a tree, as if it would pick me up n leave. But that’s not important. Why do I feel so sleepy ain’t I already in my sleep? Who are you? Why are you listening to me? Am I even talking? Are my lips moving? ohhh will someone just wake me up? Why are you crowding in on me!!!!! Where are my keys?? Wait this ain’t my house! Do I have a house? I don’t have a house! Where do I go? My family? Where’d my family go? Did I even a have family? Damn it you stop!!! You stop now!! Yes I had a family!! HAD? Have! Really? Let me just sleep. Wake...me...up..at............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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