PURNAMIDAM - mindlessly mindful

They weren’t lovers, just two lost souls with a similar vibe. They were out in the middle of the sea. Willingly lost in eternity. One night on the boat they had the same dream, like watching a movie together in sleep. With the first rays of the rising sun they rose to a new truth of life. Something felt different, something felt alive. She was standing at the edge of the boat staring at the sea with confused eyes. Subconsciously leaning to jump outside. He watched her, but didn’t stop her. He knew she couldn’t swim, but something felt right, or was he plain curious, he didn’t realize. She jumped. She went straight into the water and deep inside. For a long time, there was no sign. “Did she drown? Was she caught by a shark? Where did she go?” he fretted the time, bending over the edge looking for her.  Just as he decided to take a plunge himself, zoomed out something at a lightning speed and went high into the sky. “What was it? Was it a dolphin, a seabird or a flying fish?” he co

Kisine sach hi kaha hai choti choti baatein bade bade assar kar jati hai. Kabhi yuhi chalet chalet kisi dost ki sharat yaad ana. Nahate waqt holi me bhigna yaad aana. To kabhi bus stop pe khade school jate bachoon ko dekhke kisi chote bhai ya behen ki yaad ana to kabhi apne hi school ke din yaad ana. Ye aksar hota hai. Aur jab hota hai tab chehre par ek uncontrollable smile ka ajana. Life humesha sad nahi hoti, yaade humesha rula nahi jati. Bita hua pal khushiyose bhara ho yaa dard se, jo insane jine ki ichha rakhta hai use har yaad gudgudake hi jaati hai. Par jo insane sab hoke bhi haara hua sa rahe use ye yaade daulat nahi torture lagti hai. Mujhe haarna nahi hai. Achhi yade mujhe housla deti hai aur buri, sikh. Mujhe jina hai, har pal. Kyu insan maut ke darwaze pe ake hi jine ki khwaish rakhta hai? jab zindagi pass hoti hai to kyu usse nazarandaz kardeta hai? Ha bhai! mai shaant hu. Apne me hi khoi rehti hu, muskurati bhi thoda kum hu, par mai ji rahi hu. Zindagi me aya hue har

You’re so beautiful, an angel almost. But the truth is you are nothing but an idol. When I look into your eyes, I get lost. Lost like a frightened child in a busy market. I want to ask you a question. How can you be so calm? Does it come from ignorance? Are you ignorant to all that is happening around or is it what you choose? Did you want this to happen? Or is the calmness another of man’s evil painted on your face. So that everything remains unaffected and humanity goes on believing in you, in your existence, in your unfazed superiority. Is there a soul inside that idol? Is it weeping? Do you hate it when we make your smiling idols and force you to smile even when you are falling apart inside? Can you even fall apart? Gods never fall apart huh! Tell me how different are you from a women who is beaten day in and day out and yet made to put on her best face and serve her family, misguide the society, forced to act happy. I am your wronged child and I also force you to smile by pain

See-saw: ek uppar jata hai to dusra niche girta hai, lekin agar gira hua uthke nikal jae to hum jooorse niche patakte hai (in short gira hua insane bhi jaroori hai) Swing: jitni tezee se aage jaoge utnnihi tezi se piche aaoge Monkey bar: niche mat dekhna, piche mat dekhna…pagal jaise bas agge chadhte jana Merry go round: khayalo me gol gol ghumo mat, aage to badhoge nahi par chakkara ke wahi gir jaoge Spring riders: ye spring bade kaam ki chees hai ;) Slide: kabhi kabar phisal jaoo, phislne me bhi maza hai Conclusion: garden = zindagi, bas khelte raho J Re dil garden garden ho gaya Ke bhanwra bagiyan mein kho gaya Ke dil garden garden.. pa pa pa ra pa..

I wanna use Facebook in my office, man! I wanna use Facebook, finish writing my long pending book, use Stumble Upon, may be some porn :P Ohk no, not porn, but you get my point right? Some days I just don’t wanna work! I DON’T WANNA WORK!! I mean the internet is full of so many interesting, creative and productive things man! Like cute cat faces! And Batman jokes and CID and Rajnikant jokes. Right! I mean whoever comes up with those jokes dude, he is productive (don’t laugh. Do you know the size of their fan base? They probably make millions from merchandising Yo! Yeah now who’s laughing??) Anyways so the part that sucks in my life is that my boss’ cabin …right behind me! Yeah it’s right there. Every time he steps out of that cabin, what does he do first? See my screen! Fatso wants to drink water, take a leak, drink coffee, or simply play the boss…every bloody time my screen is right up offering itself to be gawked at like a whore. So I came up with this idea. Open all your work f

Technology is my 2nd love, first being nature. I wondered if the two could live in complete harmony, not a marriage though. Marriage somehow can never be perceived as complete harmony by me. It amazes me to see how the fanatics of either world refused to see the miracles of the other.  How can you deny the interdependence, when you see NGOs using social media network to propagate. And how could you deny the raw material for technology was a part of nature once? It’s like these people are indifferent to common sense. But then, what if the global warming was meant to happen, like the dinosaurs were meant to disappear? what if nature is not as perfect as we believe? What if nature was inclined to making mistakes too? ‘Man is the biggest mistake of nature!’ we all crib, okay! all the ‘eco-friendly-s’ crib. But what if man was the one meant to fix things? And what if global warming was his weapon to do so? None of us knows what is going to happen after when global warming re

I can’t see you. I see your soul, and I wish you could see mine too. It’s okay if you can’t; sometimes even I feel empty in my soul. I am so tired………; Tired of moving from one to other, tired of chasing god knows what. I expect people to understand me, to accept me and love me, when I myself can’t do any of that to my own. I don’t understand me; one moment I want to be all alone and the next I wish I had someone to love, to sink into their arms and forget the world, to feel little again, to feel careless again. Sometimes I feel a weird invincible strength in being alone and then I also feel if I just had that one love in life I could conquer the whole world. One moment I want to own the whole damn world the next I could be the wandering fakir, no possessions, and no expectations, just so free. I haven’t yet accepted myself. It’s clear from the way I hide myself from people all the time; Always the listener never the speaker. It tortures my soul when I think why I can’t be simp

Lust of a kind   They were so many, wandering on the streets, it didn’t matter if it was day or night, with lust in their eyes. A weird thirst and heat.   What were they looking for? The curiosity griped me. I followed them, became one of them, in pretence first. But later didn’t realize, as to when it gripped me tight   Now it’s impossible to rescue, deeper it sucks you. I became one of them in flesh and in soul   ‘Mind Prostitutes’ as they get called. Fiercely passionate is their love for the wonders of life   Minds fornicating, ejecting thoughts and bearing dreams. Once addicted you can’t stop. From one partner to other stimulation builds on Oh! What a mindful turn on!   There is no end. If you end their course, you end their life. Disloyal to their partners perhaps, But never to their dreams.   Don’t look into their eyes It is a teleporting device Will take you to their land, where birds swim

The word DEAR has somehow annoyed me to no end.  It doesn’t matter who it comes from, a girl friend or a guy friend or a stranger, especially more when it comes from a stranger. My instant reaction to such an addressing is ‘I am NOT your dear!! (Unless you mean a deer). The word annoys me even when I read it in comments written by unknown people on unknown blogs or profiles. I have whatsoever no relation with the addresser or the addressee except that I am a passive reader; and yet it annoys me! So I pondered for reasons, I read conversations where ‘dear’ was profusely used. I tried not to get irritated and actually understand what it makes me feel. Well it makes me feel lot many negative feelings than just irritation. Firstly it creeps me out, it scares me, and it creates suspicion in my head in regards with the writer’s intention behind such casual proximity. I shivered to know that a word which technically means ‘precious in one's regard’; to me means ‘threat’. In

Like angels kissing strangers Rising with the moonlight The flowers of your eyes Kiss my soul goodnight Finally the sleep fairy Has blessed me With much request And eyes, teary Won’t wake up soon Won’t give up this chance Don’t be gloom I've acquired a better stance  The scent of your eyes Will keep me strong On the other side As I wander long

Wild wild wild, keeps chanting my mind That is where I belong To be up on the world stage and perform To jump in the air and land on the grass Elated by the life’s concert It’s a constant bass Give me a forest And take back your lawn Lying on the mulch The ants crawl Over my dead mask Wearing it was such a horrendous task Watch me slip Into the madness, you call But Peace it truly is Just once try and recall You have trod this path too! So why are you now appalled? 

Life of a simpleton is often mocked by the society. Society forever inspires us to chase big, dream big, achieve big. More than inspire I would like to use the word ‘brainwash’ I have been brainwashed. All my life at every single moment I simply wanted to be happy and I have miserably failed at just that. What is the definition of big and what is the right thing to achieve? Money? Power? Fame? Solace? Peace? Happiness? Weren’t the first three mentioned in the 7 greatest sins? But being the human I am, I too am haunted by the desire to acquire one of these or may be all. Sometimes I just wish to give up. Give up all the dreams, as I wonder are these really my dreams? Freedom is not meant for everyone. It is an overwhelming sense of actualization and not everyone is capable of handling its true form. But then does that make them the weak? Or just merely the other kind? Why is that people who wish to live a routine life and find happiness in ignorance are looked down upon?

  As soon as they come, they leave. As soon as I open my eyes, they vanish. The Ghosts of my past fight the angels of my future, or that’s the way I see it   Faith they said, had grown weak. So much so that even ten shots of elixir felt meek, or so I believed   Time claimed to know alchemy, I simply bowed to whoever showed, the power to ablaze the darkness in me.   It was a long voyage, horizon seemed like an eternity. The alchemist continued to row and I continued to bow.   ‘Look up’ he said, So, I did, and so I saw. My cheeks felt warm, the breeze felt soft.   As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw his work. Indeed! He did spoke of the truth.                           Watching the bright golden truth, I stood, as it made its way from up above into my room.   Drinking the elixir, I smiled. Watching me, he took pride. Twisted are your ways, I said. ‘Make me proud’ said he and left.

If only there was a person walking down the street, with 'the one' written in his eyes. And if only I was walking up the same street at the same time. Life would be a ‘dream come true’. And then I get out from that dream only to ask myself, ‘the one’ for me? Huh! What about him? Am I ‘the one’ for him? But then isn’t the whole phenomenon of being ‘the one’ a mutual affair? What if the phenomenon is a farce created by some loser who could never accommodate anyone’s imperfections and blamed his inability to love anyone on this phenomenon? Oh how easy is it to say! “Am single coz am waiting for ‘the one’”……. (while I ignore all the beauty that passes by me simply because I don’t have the courage to deal with reality, the courage to belong to somebody.) Oh what a fool man becomes in his absolute self-awareness! That he becomes completely unaware of the simple happiness, of the intricate and chaotic universe and hence of course! he is unaware of the beauty in chaos.

What do you do when you have tried your best and even more, But things just won’t change? What do you do when you have no one to blame. What do you do when you want to let go of the past, But then who’s to tell the wrong from right apart. What do you do when present is what you want to focus on Yet it is what makes you feel lost. What do you do when you want both the worlds? But all you have is a large vacuum staring at your face. I don’t need you to say I went wrong, I don’t even need you to say it will be ok, I don’t need you at all if this is how you plan to play. I just need you, Need you in spite of your bad plotting, In spite of my lousy reading, I need you simply to trust in. I know, I don’t always listen,  I won’t even But I still want you to keep repeating. Won’t deny, I deserve a lesson, But I don’t deserve to be abandoned. So hit me with your hardest blow I won’t stop you cause I know I will glow As with every mist

Dance with Me Oh Stars!! A million chances, speak a million voices. In my head they bounce rampant, like elephants blowing trumpets. Never have I seen a moon so pink, and an ocean in the sink. So Let me just go on a walk, on the path you chalked, with yellow skies.  To the loneliest piers Come sit and watch the skies dance. The stars zonked, the fish smile, and crabs bark. On the loneliest docks, it never gets loud. They weren't all so proud,  of the silence who never shuts its mouth. But I Am with you, I think I am! As I turn my face,  towards the dim lamp.

All I wanted was a conclusion, on the never ending moments of our past. I don’t hate you, am not mad at you anymore. I don’t particularly miss you but I haven’t forgotten you either. How do I describe this calmness in my soul that comes with a, certain selfishness of my heart? How do I describe this smile that isn’t fake but built on the pain I have dealt? How do I explain that my eyes wander, not to escape you but to find myself? I tell my story to the world through an eternal silence; I live my future in an eternal confusion and I find my present in a constant metamorphosis. I like it. I love it rather; it’s not easy, oh of course not! You see, I never imagined this day without you, so I am living the unexpected almost every day. So tell me how can I ever hate you for this wonderful gift of adventure?  It’s MY adventure now, you gave it but you are nowhere in it.   So how do I say I can never bring myself to hate you, but I don’t desire you either?  How do I say, my ev

One day it’ll come to me One day it’ll be mine One day it’s so empty And one day it’s all fine Lovely as it may seem It’s a killer in disguise Chasing the absent Albeit the signs With borrowed passions And blurred visions Rises the monster Of my flawed perfections Tapping to the cacophony Of success, I shine Choking the melody Of that truly divine

It’s a funny world. Things you do and the words you say define you. You could be any one; the man who sticks to his words, the man of his deeds, the man with a lot of ideals or the man on the wind. You could be the achiever, the giver, the stealer or the creator. These things they define you as the picture you paint for people to see. Colors, everybody sees them. But who sees the negative space? Did anyone ever tried to understand the blank spaces for hours and ignore the strokes? Can we be defined more by the things we don’t do? By the words we don’t say, than those we have done?

This is what Google will tell you about DOMINO EFFECT; ‘The domino effect is a chain reaction that occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby, which then causes another similar change, and so on in linear sequence.’   It will also show you images of Marilyn Monroe change to Marlon Brando, created by East Asian students at some crazy Domino Art Contest. But if you closely observe domino effect is an inseparable, integral part of life. The understanding of this effect is also the solution to most of the problems that weigh us down.   One realizes that this universe is a humongous network of neatly arranged dominos. At least my life is. There is one thing I have learned for sure. Never have regrets and never try to change the flow, because everything indeed happens for a reason. The reasons could be both, good and bad. But there is always one and you must try to find it.  Think about it in the simplest things like, what if you were born to a different set of parent

It’s been a real long time since I have poured out my brains. Just sputter everything in every direction. The jar is so full it’s about to spill and the sink is too far away. I don’t think I can make it till the sink before I ruin the expensive floor-carpet. Damn it! I spilled.  Oh it’s been a long night ...or day...I don’t know. It seems all just the same. Have I been sleeping or was I too awake? I remember my dreams and forget my days.  Talking, moving eating, writing I don’t know what. Thinking? What is that? I can’t think! I don’t know what it means. I want to be alone, for real. Why are you crowding in on me? Just leave me alone. I consume too much oxygen I should be shunned but I don’t remember the last time I breathed. I am in pain, but so is everyone else. On the bus, in the train, on the roads...faces, so sad! So dull! It’s hard to believe a life behind them. It’s hard to believe I am one of them. Save me please! Wait!  Who am I talking to? Is there anyone listening?

Peel of my layers One after the other See my core Become gentler For you, it might be a pretty game To me, it’s a mystery untamed Drenched in the pool of my own sweat I don’t let slip in the regret The paths I choose Will see the answers be met I finally drop the noose   Around my neck The voices are no more a blur The faces are no more a haze I am turning over To a silent page As the only thing matters now Is to let nothing ever matter again

Someday I would want to be living in the entire world not just one place Someday I would want to dissolve in water and not just be swimming Someday I would want to evaporate and not just be flying Till that day, as every other I am living Someday I would want to rest and not just be sleeping Someday I would want to know and not just be aware Someday I would want to exist and not just be evolving Till that day, as every other I am questing   Someday I would want it to be over Someday I would want it to start Someday I would want to go on and the next, stop Yet every day I move ahead, as opens yet another clog